Do People Love You For Who You Are or For What You Do?
A friend did a mushroom trip and a question came to him:
"Do people love you for who you are or for what you do?"
This is uncomfortable to consider.
People loving us for who we are feels more real, genuine, caring, empathetic and robust.
It feels like it's less fickle and more difficult to lose.
On the other hand, people loving us for what we do feels transactional and transient.
The love we receive becomes contingent on what achievements and successes we can offer in return.
And the obvious fear is that if a point came where we no longer had anything to offer in return, would our love be taken away?
So here's an even more uncomfortable question.
"Do you love you for who you are or for what you do?"
Oooo. Nowhere to hide now buddy. This highlights our hypocrisy.
You see, we want the world to love us for who we are.
A balanced, caring view of our true value, independent of our accomplishments.
Meanwhile our own self love is largely determined by what we do.
If we fall short, even though we know we tried our best, we still cast ourselves as being insufficient, unworthy creatures.
So we want the world to show up for us in a way that we are often not prepared to show up for ourselves.
You deserve more than this, demand it of yourself.
Chris Williamson | @chriswillx